Bookworm's Book Shelf

Bookworm

You Are My Sunshine

Let And Let Live - Let's Be Sweethearts Again

The Three Nails

Suppertime

Bookworm

If She Was Mine

A Summer Song

Yesterday's Gone

Bookworm

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.'

I had no Monet

To buy Degas

To make the Van Gogh.

See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.

I posted it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Bookworm

Bubba and Johnny Ray were sittin' on the front porch drinking beer when a large truck hauling huge rolls of sod went by.

I'm gonna do dat when I win the lottery", said Bubba.

"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.

"Send my grass out to be mowed."

Bookworm

Three friends married women from different parts of the country .

The first man married a woman from Wisconsin.

He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from New York.

He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Missouri.

He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

Bookworm

A TOUCHING STORY ALL WOMEN WILL ADORE!

For all of us who are married, were married, wish we were married, or wish we weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road...

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

'Good trade...'

Bookworm

Dog Pack Attacks Gator in Florida
At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Not for the squeamish

Laughter is good for the soul. Have a Great Day!
Later Gator!!!!!!! :-)

Bookworm

--- But He REALLY Means...

"Well, what have we here...?"

--- He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"

--- I'm stalling for time.

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

--- I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

"Let me check your medical history."

--- I want to see if you've paid your last bill before
spending anymore time with you.

"Well, now, we have some good news and some bad news."

--- The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is,you're going to pay for it.

"This should be taken care of right away."

--- I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy
and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

"Let me schedule you for some lab tests."

--- I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

"Let's see how it develops."

--- Maybe in a few days it will grow into something
that really needs to be cured.

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."

--- I'm writing a paper and would like to use you
for a guinea pig.

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."

--- I think I'm going to throw up.

"This may smart a little."

--- Last week two patients almost bit off their tongues.

"This should fix you up."

--- The drug company slipped me some big bucks
to prescribe this stuff. Hope it works...

"Everything seems to be normal."

--- Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

"I'd like to run some more tests."

--- I can't figure out what's wrong.
Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.