Sunday, March 24, 2013

And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
 photo DSC_4223_zpsde24bebe.jpg

And then the fight started...
----------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
Anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 In about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
Scale photo SCALE_zps69c9edf1.jpg
And then the fight started...
----------

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.

 photo gas_prices_zps889ebd9a.jpg

And then the fight started...
----------

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing My curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is Proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

 photo Hedrus-MaxTennysonupdatechesthair_zps4edd4885.jpg

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.'

 photo Flasher_zps9f990617.gif

And then the fight started...
----------

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
Kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

 photo drunk-woman-drinking-wine-thumb2422_zps373383e3.jpg

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
Drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
Hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think that a person could go on
Celebrating that long?'

 photo Celebrate_zps93fd5727.gif

And then the fight started...
----------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
Order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

 photo projects088_zps1549ff5d.jpg

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

 photo COW_zps66df0ac6.gif

"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
----------

No comments: