Friday, November 30, 2012

Christmas Songs I Hate

We have one more day before December. There is already at least one radio station here in St Louis MO that is already all Christmas music...all the time. I love Christmas songs...I love Christmas hymns too. However, I have to admit there are a few I could do without. 
Here are my top five of hated holiday music...or do you really have to play that again???  Actually, they're not bad the first time or two I hear them...However, by December 25th, it feels like they've been played 3000 times.

1.  Wonderful Christmas Time-Paul McCartney

 

2.  Feliz Navidad- Jose Feliciano

 

3. Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer-Elmo & Patsy


4.  Baby Its Cold Outside-Margaret Whiting and Johnny Mercer

 

5.  All I Want For Christmas Is You- Mariah Carey

What holiday songs make you feel like screaming? 

 

 

 



 

 

Martha Stewart's Holiday Calendar











 
December 1

Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.
 

December 2
Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.
 

December 3
Using candlewick and hand gilded miniature pinecones, fashion cat-o-nine tails. Flog gardener.
 

December 4
Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.
 

December 5
Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself.
 

December 6
Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.
 

December 7
Debug Windows XP.
 

December 8
Create snow sculpture replica of Bethlehem at the birth of Christ.
 

December 9
Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth.
 

December 10
Lay Faberge egg.
 

December 11
Erect ice skating rink in front yard using spring water I bottled myself. Open for neighborhood children's use. Create festive mood by handmaking snow and playing my Christmas album.
 

December 12
Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.
 

December 13
Install plumbing in gingerbread house.
 

December 14
Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade 'holiday scents' in case tires are shot out at mall.
 

December 15
Take dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble.

December 16
Child proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire.
 

December 17
Outfit neighborhood rats with tiny antlers.
 

December 18
Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guests will be same height when sitting at their assigned seats.
 

December 19
Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive touch to the pasture.
 

December 20
Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices, and cinnamon sticks.
 

December 21
Float votive candles in toilet.
 

December 22
Seed clouds for white Christmas.
 

December 23
Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are.
 

December 24
Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri.
 

December 25
Alphabetize all the Christmas gifts for family and friends and cross-reference by color and size.
 

December 26
Write and mail Christmas thank-you notes. Order cards for next Christmas. Estimate number of cards needed by allowing for making new friends and actuarially appropriate death rates for current friends and relatives.
 

December 27
Organize spice racks by genus and phylum.
 

December 28
Build snowman in exact likeness of God.
 

December 29
Hand sew 365 quilts, each using 365 material squares I weaved myself used to represent the 365 days of the year. Donate to local orphanages.
 

December 30
Release flock of white doves, each individually decorated with olive branches, to signify desire of world peace.
 

December 31
New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Computer Problem

Computer Problem


I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Jimmy the computer guy,
to come over. Jimmy clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"


He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."


I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T

error? What's that . in case I need to fix it again?"

The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error

before?"

"No," I replied.


"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."


So I wrote out ........ I D 1 0 T

The Penguins

The Penguins
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this the clerk spots two penguins sitting in the back of the truck.
 

He asks the driver, ''What's up with the penguins in the back of your truck?''
The man in the car says ''I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven't had a clue.''
The clerk ponders a bit then says, ''You should take them to the zoo.''
''Yeah, that's a good idea,'' says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back of the truck.
''Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo.''
''Oh, I did,'' says the driver, ''And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
 

The Blonde at the Bus Stop



A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions -
"Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and,
sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now...
The 45th bus just went by!"

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Green Chri$tma$ by Stan Freberg

 Kris Kringle: Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it.


Alfred, Macy janitor: Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck. 

Quotes are taken from "Miracle on 34th Street"

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Saturday Music Featuring Dion and the Belmonts

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The Wanderer 

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A Teenager in Love

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Runaround Sue

 

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Saturday lunch at Anthonino's Taverna St Louis Mo

Our latest DDD (Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives) excursion took us to the Hill in St Louis, MO. This is an area known for great ethnic food. It did not disappoint.
Chris went with the Yogurt Tzatziki and Toasted Ravioli. I tried the
Dolmathes. All were delicious.

At another restaurant we have had toasted ravioli made with Chef Robert Irvine's recipe. These were far superior. We will definitely be back. It was the best ravioli we have ever tasted.
Anthonino's Taverna on the hill in Saint Louis
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Yogurt Tzatziki Greek yogurt, cucumber, garlic, olive oil and seasonings 
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Toasted Ravioli (6) handmade in house 
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Dolmathes stuffed grape leaves with ground beef, rice and Greek seasoning
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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Reading Facial Expressions


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Everyone loves A Good Song with Feeling



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I will slap you silly!!!



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Original Gang Sign



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Sup?



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Is that edible?



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Whatever Man...



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That’s right baby....I still got it.



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Get Outta My FACE!!!!



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OH! C-c-c-cold Wipes! Cold Wipes!



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I can’t believe this place



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Tell me he/she did NOT just say that!!