Saturday, August 20, 2011

Men are just happier people

Men are just happier people




NICKNAMES
·        If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
·        If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, meat head and butthead.

EATING OUT
·        When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
·        When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
·        A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
·        A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
·        A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
·        The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
·        A woman has the last word in any argument.
·        Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
·        A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
·        A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
·        A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
·        A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
·        A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
·        A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
·        A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
·        A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
·        Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
·        Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
·        Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
·        A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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