Tired of making resolutions year after year that you never keep?
Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish?
Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of
time.
3. Read less. Makes you
think.
4. Watch more TV. You've been
missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more.
Starting tomorrow.
6. Stop bringing lunch from
home: Eat out more.
7. Get in a whole NEW rut!
8. Spend your summer vacation
in Cyberspace.
9. Don't eat cloned meat.
10. Create loose ends.
11. Get more toys.
12. Get further in debt.
13. Don't believe
politicians.
14. Break at least one
traffic law.
15. Avoid airplanes that
spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
16. Don't swim with piranhas
or sharks.
17. Associate with even worse
business clients.
18. Spread out priorities
beyond ability to keep track of them.
19. Wait around for
opportunity.
20. Focus on the faults of
others.
21. Mope about faults.
22. Never make New Year's
resolutions again.
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