Sunday, May 1, 2011

Boys and Girls

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"All
        Men Are Created Equal"


        ...but not little boys and little girls.

       

        You
        throw a little girl a ball, and it will

        probably hit her in the nose.


        You
        throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it.

        Then it will hit him in the nose.


       

        You
        dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best,

        and she'll look just as pretty when you finally

        make it to church an hour later.


        You
        dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll

         somehow find every mud puddle from your home

        to the church, even if you're driving there.


       

        Boys'
        rooms are usually messy.


        Girls'
        rooms are usually messy,

        except it's a good smelling mess.


       

        A
 baby
        girl will pick up a stick and look in

        wonderment at what nature has made.


        A
 baby
        boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.


       

        When
        girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they

        like to dress them up and play house with them.


        When
        boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls,

        they like to tear off their appendages.


       

        Boys
        couldn't care less if their hair is unruly.


        If
 their
        bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short,

        girls would rather lock themselves in their

        room for two weeks than be seen in public.


       

        Baby
        girls find mommy's makeup and almost

        instinctively start painting their face.


        Baby
        boys find mommy's makeup and almost

        instinctively start painting the walls.


       

        If
 a
        girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed.


        If
 a boy
        accidentally burps, he will follow it

        with a dozen fake belches.


       

        Boys
        grow their fingernails long because

        they're too lazy to cut them.


        Girls
        grow their fingernails long - not because they look

        nice -but because they can dig them into a boys arm.


       

        Girls
        are attracted to boys, even at an early age.


        At
 an
        early age, boys are attracted to dirt.


       

        By
 the
        age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses.


        By
 the
        age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad

        kisses unless he bribes them with candy.


       

        Most
        baby girls talk before boys do.


        Before
        boys talk, they learn how

        to make machine-gun noises.


       

        Girls
        will cry if someone dies in a movie.


        Boys
        will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've

        watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"

        movie three times in a row.


       

        Little
        girls turn into women.


        Little
        boys turn into bigger boys.


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