Sunday, May 22, 2011

Ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road?

Ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road?

           
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            ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

           

            KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

           

            RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

           

            PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking
American.

           

            BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition of "did"
is.

           

            GEORGE BUSH JR: I don't know, but I'll tell you this: That
chicken may run, but it can't hide. God bless America.

           

            DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? 

Did he cross it with a toad? 
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed,
 I've not been told!

           

            ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
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            MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

           

            GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough for us.

           

            CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has
gone
before.
          

           

            FOX MULDER: Did you actually see it cross the road? Or did
you suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side? You
think you saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How many
more chickens have to appear before you believe it?

           

            FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken
crossed the road reveals
      your underlying sexual insecurity.

           

            BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken Millenium Edition,
 which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
             file your important documents, and balance your check book, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

           
      

           
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            EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the
road move
beneath the chicken?
           

           

            LOUIS FARRAKHAN: What color was the chicken? If you do your
            research, you will find that it was a white chicken. Roads
are
always black. The road, you will see, represents the black
          man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
           

       

           

            THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

           
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            JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The
chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it:
the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. And, if
 you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
            whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side. "That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as
plain and simple as that.

           

            COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?!
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8 comments:

notacynic said...

Very good. ; )

Bookworm said...

Of course, if the chicken stopped in the middle of the road it's because she wanted to lay it on the line. Sorry...couldn't resist.

Whit's Whittlings2 said...

That's an updated version of the old one. Very good!

Bookworm said...

Whit,
Glad you liked the funky chicken joke. LOL

Bella said...

oh my gawd! that Jerry Falwell bit cracked me up; and the best one? why Clinton of course! depends on the explanation of 'did.' hahaha

Bella said...

and the picture of the chicken and the cat fighting...too funny!

Bookworm said...

Bella,
My favorite was Col. Sanders..."I missed one?"

Bookworm said...

Wonder who won the fight...the cat or chicken? Under the category of family stories, my mom and aunt swear this is true...My aunt used to have a pet chicken when she was a kid. It's follow her like a puppy...one day it pecked her...She turned around and said wouldn't you make a nice mess of chicken in the frying pan...and the chicken dropped over dead.