Thursday, April 28, 2011

Fairy Tales, the FBI and Service Defined (Jokes)

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said,
'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went
fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer
and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted
whenever he wanted.


motorcycle smiley Pictures, Images and Photosfishing Pictures, Images and Photoshunting Pictures, Images and Photossmiley Pictures, Images and Photosbeer Pictures, Images and PhotosScotch Glass Pictures, Images and Photosfart smiley Pictures, Images and Photos

THE END

PS:  He lived happily ever after.........



FBI finalists


    The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said,  "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room... Shots were heard, one after another.
GUN COCKED Pictures, Images and Photos
    They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Broken black chair. Pictures, Images and Photos
    MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

Service Defined

               I became confused when I heard these terms
with reference to the word 'service'. 
>
              Internal Revenue 'Service'
              U.S.Postal   'Service'
              Telephone 'Service'
               Cable  'Service' 
               Civil 'Service'
               Customer 'Service'
              State, City &  County  Public'Service'
               This is not what I  thought 'service'meant. But today, I overheard
two farmers talking, and one
of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows.  
BAM!!!  It all came into focus. Now I understand
what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us.
consored Pictures, Images and Photos
        
         I hope you are as enlightened as I am.


4 comments:

Mister Ornery said...

Hadn't heard the last one. Must remember not to laugh next time I talk to "customer service".

Bookworm said...

Mr O,
It'd be a change of pace for them...laughing...instead of yelling because they're failing to ser...ahem...never mine...LOL

Skinny said...

Loved both the FBI chair and the service.

Bookworm said...

Skinny,
Glad you liked them...I think the FBI chair edged the service for me...The service one is all too true...maybe too true to be funny.